I decided to take a break from school to get a full time job and have some time for reflection. Not sure if singing is what I want to do professionally anymore. I have been feeling this for some time now. I don't want to spend the rest of my life traveling from place to place auditioning for gigs you don't even get paid for in the opera world. To even get hired as an opera diva, you have to go through all these opera programs that cost thousands of dollars to get accepted to with no guarantee of a spot in the program. Although I am almost finished with the Vocal Performance degree, I am not passionate about doing this anymore. I feel drained right now. And my parent's sudden move to Florida is not helping my anxiety.
Some people might think it's my boyfriend distracting me or telling me to quit. But he was actually very supportive of me pursuing this degree. But I have been depressed on and off all semester, last semester, and somewhat last spring semester. I would have highs and lows where I would not want to get out of bed one day and be extremely motivated the next. Could this be a Bipolar issue? I have been told by some through out my life, that do I tend to have Bipolar tendencies. Perhaps this is something I should look into. My boyfriend even noticed my on and off mood swings.
Although, everyone at NEIU felt like family, I needed to take a step back. Perhaps I need to get help and see if I really do have Bipolar. I just dread taking medication for this issue. Why are there so many people I come across in my life of friends seem to be diagnosed with this disorder? Why are so many people being diagnosed with Bipolar disorder lately? It is rather odd.
But if I can't function like a normal human being and do normal day activities like the rest of the adults out there, then something must be wrong. Because this constant wanting to sleep in bed all day is a sign that I need help. And picking fights with my boyfriend isn't healthy either when we've only been together for 2 months. Although he is concerned and wants to help me and is sticking by my side despite my sudden outbursts. He's a keeper because of this. He no angel himself thought, but I love him.
