It Has Been A While

I have had many great things come my way at Northeastern Illinois U. I survived the semester. Although, a very rough beginning trying to get class now that my commute is 2 hours and 20 minutes, instead of the nice 5 to 15 minute walks to my classes at Luther. But the very frigid weather there caused me to not want to get out of bed in the morning and among other reasons that shall remain in the past.

I have worked hard. I could have worked harder. I am smart and wouldn't have gotten this far with pursuing a Music degree at now 31 years old. But why not? What is stopping me?

I think I have finally woken up from my slumber after a major setback. I am beginning to trust people again and realizing other people believe in my talent as well. But also know that I need to believe in me and not care what anybody else thinks and not worry so much about pleasing people. I still worry about pleasing people some of the time, but more or less than I used to.

I love performing and I think it showed at my Jury final for the semester. Can't wait to get cracking on my Recital Rep. once I get over this cold. My mom's lovely Chicken Soup has been working on my congestion like magic! :)

I was quite pleased with my Jury performance. I was slightly stiff in the beginning when Dr. H had me start with Faure's "Chanson D'Amour." Frankly, it is not really my favorite piece and I don't want to sing it again or perform it. Haha! And as far as the Amy Beach I got some great feedback and they all seemed to like this piece in my voice. Dr. Hibbard said it was definitely more forward than the Faure. I think I was just nervous and warming up my nerves anyway. Dr. H said I had some dotted rhythm issues. I am sure I will fix that when the time comes for my recital, and I probably had the wrong idea on how to count the dotted eighth rhythms in 6/8. I really enjoy that piece, "Take, O Take Those Lips Away" and it really showed. I truly think God was helping me through the Jury because I worked really hard and prayed for an excellent jury, even when I had subtle pauses between the next piece I prayed in silence. I am excited for my Junior Recital and can't wait. I deserve this!

Lazy, memorial weekend...

I just got back from Luther College for good Thursday evening. Unpacked most of my clothing on Friday and kept it low key... saw "The Sound of Music" on Saturday at the Lyric Opera of Chicago because I have not seen anything at the opera house all year! Although, I don't know what they were thinking making Maria Von Trapp sing the role in a lower key when she was perfectly capable of singing it the way it was originally supposed to be sung. But I guess the whole reason was to prove that someone else could sing in the same key that Carry Underwood did on the live tv version; only by an actual trained voice and without vocal issues! But the girl who played Maria, could have probably sang it the Julie Andrews way as well. She hit a C7 for one of the pieces...I can't remember... I think it was for "Do re mi." She had a very wide range!

Then yesterday I lounged around and had a Dance Mom's marathon. Today I finished Dance Moms and now I am catching up on Mad Men.

Hopefully, I will be more productive tomorrow! :P

To A Fresh Start...

I decided to delete my old blogs because those were old thoughts and worries. Everyone is entitled to a fresh start after a huge fall back, and I don't want to think about those incidents anymore. I want to have a professional, humble attitude and work at becoming an even better singer. The issues with my first voice teacher was a mistake and I will never let this happen again. I want to put this mishap behind me for good and remember the fantastic times I had with Kimmel instead of blaming anyone (including myself) over this situation.

I was not having the greatest time at Luther College and I think it reflected in my attitude. I had some fabulous moments with people and made great connections that I hope to still have; I had a great last conversation and short lesson with my recent and now former voice teacher, Dr. Jennaya Robison, and I will cherish those moments forever. Cathedral Choir was a great choir to be in and I wouldn't have had it any other way; helping with the opera production and getting to know a few more people better during my last few weeks at Luther, helped me feel more accepted in the community and I felt good to be doing something constructive in the music department. But I wasn't completely connected at the school and my attitude throughout the whole year, I think reflected that on how I carried myself and it sometimes made it unpleasant for other people to be around me. Generally, I consider myself to be a very happy and positive person most of the time. However, I was completely disconnected in the environment at Luther; especially socially. I love the small town and hope to visit, but Luther is not a place for "non-traditional" students. It was way too high school for me and having experienced age diversity and culture diversity at Columbia College Chicago and at Harold Washington, being in this closed-minded bubble, was a culture shock to me and I felt alienated sometimes. I tried not to let myself be effected because I was older than everyone, but it did.

So it didn't work out and I gave Luther a chance, and like Kimmel told me before, if it doesn't workout, I can always come back to NEIU in the fall. And so it is! I am excited to work with Sasha Gerritson and I "REALLY" want the role of Despina!