A bit of Inspiration

I took my niece to see "The Merry Widow." It was her first opera, so I am glad I got to show her some culture away from living out in the middle of nowhere. Definitely a good first opera to expose someone to; especially if English is their native language, since it was in English.

Watching this did give me inspiration to keep pushing forward. What is stopping me except negative talk from myself and obstacles that keep pushing me down? Who hasn't had obstacles that ever wanted to succeed in life? 

I have been beating myself up this semester ; probably more so than last year. Just because of me missing choir too much. More so than last year. I have never done this in the history of me being in choirs. So I don't know what has come over me. Could it be that I hate being an alto because I've never been an alto? Could it be my somewhat regretting leaving one of the top choral education colleges in the country (at least in my mind it was)? Do I feel like somewhat of a failure because of it? I mean no one told me anything bad there. I mainly left because I wanted more opportunities to perform in opera workshop, and all I was doing at Luther, was sitting on the side lines waiting my turn. So chorus wasn't my main priority in my mind. If I got into Nordic would I have left? Probably not, but I didn't audition when I already made my decision to leave.  

I know it was probably juvenile to post that I hate being alto (2nd alto at that). I know if I were at Luther, I would be happy to be in any section as a woman because it is highly competitive as a woman vocalist. I know my sight singing is not great, although I nailed the sight singing when I auditoned for Cathedral Choir, so I don't know what else to say except to brush it up because there are students coming in younger and more experienced than I am. 

I mean I sometimes regret my decision, but probably more relief than regret at this point because of the performance opportunities I've had and the supportive students that welcomed me with open arms instead of gossiping behind my back. Although, do I regret how unprofessional I have behaved in choir? Absolutely. Dr. O is probably really disappointed in me and hates me right now. But all I can say is I stuck it out instead of quitting and chalk it up for a better next year! 

After seeing "The Merry Widow", I can't quit, I've come too far. I've spent too much on voice lessons to quit. And if Renee Fleming is still singing, what's stopping me? Perhaps seeing this performance is what I needed.